Lily

I was going crazy. I knew that, but I wasn't sure how to tell anyone. For the last few nights my dreams had been insanely vivid. The kind of dreams that were so real that you woke up convinced you hadn't been dreaming at all. He was haunting me, and I didn't know how to make him go away.

It was always Venice. He was there looking as casually beautiful as he always had. His eyes hidden behind designer shades. A smile that could hide all of his lies and make them seem as if they were the truth. "It's beautiful isn't it?"

"What do you want from me?" I demanded, absently twisting the wedding ring on my finger.

"Nothing."

That smile didn't hide the lie. We knew he wanted something. I was just unsure what it was. Was this only my guilty conscience? I had made the only choice I could. It wasn't a choice I regretted, but he would not leave me alone.

"I'm sorry."

"I know." Same easy smile. "You miss me."

"I love him."

The sunglasses were there for both of our protection. I couldn't see the anger and pain in his eyes, and that was better for both of us. It was part of the illusion. The scene he was trying to set.

The scene I was setting in my dreams.

I was going crazy.

"You can't keep visiting me like this, Aidan."

"Ciao, Liliana."

I'd see him again. We both knew it.

I'm sorry to anyone who feels hurt or let down that they weren't invited to the wedding. Tyler and I wanted to keep it private and simple. That was what felt right to us. Marriage is essentially a private contract between two people. It's promises to each other about what you will do to make a life together. No one was invited to come along with us because we felt like this was the right way for us to do it. We never wanted anyone to feel slighted, or to make anyone feel like they didn't matter to us. You're important to us. You're our family. I hope one day you'll understand why we made the choices we did. We love you, and we never want to hurt any of you or let you down.

The world never slows down. That is the conclusion that Lily has reached after getting through the last couple of weeks. Alec was dead. She tried to wrap her mind around it, but she couldn't. How could someone so young and full of life be dead?

It made her think of Aidan. Where was he now? Was he okay? Did he think about her still? He had looked so young, but it was an illusion. Life with him had been an illusion, and she tried to believe it was all lies.

She knew that it wasn't. Some part of him had loved her, and she betrayed him. Every part of Grace had loved Alec, and now he was gone. She was alone with their new baby, and it wasn't fair. Life wasn't fair.

But sometimes it worked out for the best right? How could she be so angry at the unfairness of life when she saw Lexi and Tyler together. Twins. They never were meant to be separated by death or any of the other things that came calling for their family. Her family.

She knew the girl who grew up in Tampa all those years ago died somewhere during her trip from Wolfram and Hart to Tyler's arms. She was an adult now. Life wasn't an illusion. It was the real deal that brought you to your knees with either tears or laughter. Whatever the case may be, she couldn't regret bringing Lexi back for Tyler. It was the way the world was meant to be.

Let's go finish her once and for all. How fast can you be ready to go?

1 question...
1 chance...
1 honest answer...

That's all you get. Ask me one question. Any one question, anything, no matter how crazy it is. An honest answer. No catch.

All comments will be screened so your question stays private between you and me, and only you will get to see my answer to your question. But I dare you to repost this and see what people ask you.



ooc: Obviously not really screened because where's the fun in that? But each thread is 'locked' to the original question asker.

Lily isn't a religious person. She used to have more faith in God, but lately it's been shaken. Maybe it's been shaken ever since she realized who and what she was. It's hard to believe in God when you see the worst the world has to offer. It's hard to have faith when prayers go unanswered. She knows faith means believing when it seems entirely impossible, but maybe that is the true problem. She just doesn't believe anymore.

Which is why it's kind of hilarious and hypocritical that she winds up at the church in the middle of the day. She was running an errand, and she saw the church and decided to stop. It's stupid to light a candle for him when she doubts that if a God does exist that it would look over Aidan. Yet she lights it anyway, closing her eyes, and repeating a prayer she learned nearly before she learned to read.

Taking a seat in one of the pews, she keeps her eyes closed, and she tries to fight the memories of him. He wasn't all bad, and the best parts of him were parts that he shared with her. In the end she had used that part of him to help destroy him. The tears fall fast and furious as she sobs quietly to herself. She loved him, and she wonders if he knew that. She just didn't love him enough to choose him over Tyler.

She hopes that he is okay though, and sometimes she regrets not being able to save them both. It's her secret though because she is sure no one would understand.

1. He'd be an awesome father.
2. I like kids.
3. It would give him something to live for.
4. We'd have a reason to finally separate from all the demon stuff and focus on our family instead.
5. Maybe we could raise them in New York.
6. They would have his hair, and maybe my eyes.
7. Life is too short to wait around for the right time.
8. Tyler would have someone else to dress instead of just me.
9. They would have the childhood that Tyler and Alexia didn't get to have.
10. I think I'm pregnant?

So, are you as bored as I am? Tyler is being lame and people are freaking out. I've heard the stories about you so I gotta admit I'm curious if you live up to the hype.

I was sleeping really good when suddenly I was jolted awake as pain shot through my chest. There was a gasp as I tried to stand up and figure out what the hell was going on. We'd been out late with the prom, and ended up crashing at a hotel. It was our night to be normal people. Normal kids even. Whatever was going on with the pain in my chest definitely wasn't normal.

"Ty..." His name caught in my throat as the pain washed over me like a heavy wave during high tide. Just as fast as it started, it was over and I found myself looking around the hotel room with a smirk. We'd had a good time last night, but I wanted to have a good time now too.

Tyler was looking at me all shocked and stuff, and I rolled my eyes. He seriously was a drag lately with the crying and pouting because his father left. Whatever. He should be glad his dad was gone. All Harry ever did anymore was mourn his poor little princess. Hell, I'd like to see Lexi and Sophia right now. They would know how to properly party.

"I'm fine, no need to be freaked out. You thirsty?" I asked him, as I opened up the mini-bar and grabbed a few of the bottles. I didn't wait for him to answer. Instead I tossed them on the bed, and then straddled him. Holding his hands above his head with one hand, I stroked his cheek with the other hand.

"You look so good. I'm going to fuck you until you can't walk properly," I leaned forward, capturing his lips with mine as I kissed him hungrily. Mmm he looked and tasted so good. It was time to make him forget about what he had lost, and remind him what a lucky bitch he truly was. My thighs tightened against his hips as I rocked against him, pulling back to look into those dark eyes. "You've been so bad, Tyler. You made me cry. That's not going to happen anymore, got it?"

[open to Tyler]

Dear Angel,

I had this really lame gift of a portrait of Connor, Sarah and me to give to you for Father's Day, but now that I have this new lease on life I thought this was more appropriate. You should let me play in the secret room. I promise you'll like it. Bring Faith if she bitches about being left out.

Love,

Lily


Dear "Uncle" Alex,

Happy Father's Day since you seem to think it's so important to play daddy to Tyler. So lame. If you want me to call you Daddy while I wear these let me know.

Love,
Liliana

Dear Tyler,

I'm leaving this for you because I'm not always great with my words. I think, more often than not, words are meaningless. Actions are what speak loudest, and they are what I trust more than anything else. You hurt me with your words, but I should have realized you were just venting your pain. I should have realized that you didn't mean for me to take it the way I did. You may say one thing, but your actions speak so much louder than any of your words ever could.

I know that you're having a hard time dealing with so much loss. First your sister, and now your dad. If there was a way I could carry that pain for you, I would. If there was a way I could make it better for you, I would. It's so hard to watch you suffer, and to be unable to do anything to help you. But you're wrong when you say your destiny is to be reunited with Lexi.

Your sister, before she was turned, wouldn't have wanted this for you. You told me she screamed for your mother when you were trapped in the basement. If this is the destiny she wanted for the two of you then why did she go down fighting? Why did she want her mom to fix it when it was happening to her?

Maybe I don't understand what makes a person a person, and how much of themselves they lose when they become a vampire. But I know that the Alexia I knew before she was turned would have mowed over Sophia to keep you protected and safe. She would have been proud of you for being accepted to college. She would have wanted you to live. To be happy and live. But the fact is, it doesn't matter what she would want, or what your family and I want for you. In the end, you have to want it for yourself.

I have faith that deep down, you want this too, and that you will find your way out of the dark. No matter what, I'm here with you, every step of the way. Because even when you're a dumbass, you're my dumbass, and I love you. Always.

Love,

Lily

The pictures in the frames are as follows:

Harry with the twins when they were eight.
The twins with Harry and Faith at the beach when they were eight.
Lily and Tyler on the balcony at the New York penthouse
Tyler with the car that Lex bought him.
Harry and the twins at Thanksgiving when they were eight.
Harry and the twins at the hotel when they were twelve.
Harry and the twins in Greece when they were sixteen.
Lexi kissing Tyler's cheek when they eight.
Lily and Tyler kissing in New York
Tyler, Harry and Lex in LA.
Tyler and Lex in LA.

The card attached says: Happy Birthday. I know Jules and Dani have plans later, but I'm making dinner for all of us before then. Love, Lily

Dear Aidan,

I've tried to write this a million times, and I never get past your name. It's stupid to write to you when there is no chance in hell you'll ever get to read it. Harry said that his therapists told him that writing letters you will never send can bring you closure. I'm not sure if it's true or not, but I guess it's worth a try. Though I think if we didn't get closure when I helped to send you back to hell or wherever you were destined to go then the chances of this working is pretty slim to none.

You haunt me, Aidan. God you haunt me in ways that would put most ghosts to shame. Sometimes I can feel you behind me. Your hand on the small of my back, your voice whispering in my ear, and I am torn between hoping it's you and fearing it's you. It's never you. It's just my mind playing tricks on me. I see you in my dreams. Dreams. Not nightmares. You'd think it would be nightmares wouldn't you?

I'm sorry that I hurt you. I really am. Sometimes I wonder if I had loved you as truly as you seemed to love me that maybe I could have saved you. Crazy right? There is no real proof that you really loved me. You said you did though, and I believe you did. I think I was as unexpected for you as you were for me. Maybe another place and time we would have been meant to be.

I know in this lifetime I'm meant for Tyler. That doesn't mean I don't regret the pain I caused you. I'm sorry I couldn't be who you needed me to be. I miss you.

Love,

Liliana

[Super locked to Lex Luthor]

Mr. Luthor, can we talk?

You're kidding right? Therapy is a joke. If you think there is a therapist in the world who can work through the issues we're facing in our every day life you're completely delusional. The biggest problem in my relationship with Tyler is that I'm a slayer and he's too good for me. There, I said it. Happy now? He'll disagree, but it's true.

You can't honestly think there is anything that can fix the problems we are facing. His sister was turned into a vampire. His father is a vampire. His mother is a slayer. They're involved with the vampire who is kind of my adopted father. His ex-girlfriend is kind of my adopted mother. She's a slayer too. She's also involved with the vampire who sired the vampire who killed my boyfriend's sister. Following so far? Yeah I didn't think so.

I love Tyler, but sometimes I think I should be honest with myself. How can the two guys I have loved in my life be so different? Tyler is everything good and amazing in the world. He wants to hand me the world on a platinum platter, and he'll do it too. He'll whisk me away to a castle and make me his princess. Aidan was everything dark and wrong in the world. He treated me like porcelain and wanted to give me the world on the backs of those he slaughtered. Neither recognized the darkness that is in me, and neither will ever see it. Because to them I'm just Liliana Baker. The slayer who loves them because she sees the good in them. The slayer who accepts the dark in them. The girl who understands the world they are both thrown into because it's the world I'm thrown into too.

Did I mention Aidan is Tyler's uncle?

Yeah.

Therapy can't fix this.

"Have you seen or heard from Nicole recently?" Harry asked as he stood in the doorway of my room. He was worried. Real worried. In his hand was a cell phone. I knew him well enough to know that he had already tried calling her and came up empty. Especially if he was in my doorway.

"No. What's going on?" I was already out of the chair and turning off my computer. If something was going on with Nicole then I was ready to help.

"I don't know. She didn't come home the other night. Kim said there was a note that said she wouldn't be gone long, and that she wanted Kim to wait up for her."

I chewed on the bottom of my lip as I watched him pause to try and text Nicole again. This wasn't good. Nicole wasn't the type to just run off. She wouldn't not answer her phone if she could help it. This wasn't good at all. Tyler and everyone was going to freak out.

"Who did she go out with?"

Harry shrugged, but I could tell he'd already asked Kim that. It was really easy to read him now. I knew him well enough. He was family. So was Nicole. "She didn't say."

I reached out and squeezed his hand before heading toward the door. "I'll start driving around the usual patrol spots to see if I find anything. My phone is on. Keep me informed okay?"

"Thanks, Lily."

I didn't bother telling him no thanks was needed. I was already heading down the stairs.